“I swear to God I’m going to kill that fucker one day.”

Another article of paper tragically lain to waste, the frayed edges and tears he’d known weren’t supposed to be there were littered clear across the envelope and acting as evidence to allow him the privilege of directing a law suits towards the mail man. He scrutinized over the small envelope, squinting at the smeared ink, before gradually walking up along the cobble stone steps towards the front entrance of his apartment complex. Flipping through junk mail and tossing it into the small lobby trash can before heading up the small flight of stairs towards the long hallway littered with a few dozen mahogany doors. He nearly tripped over his own two feet as he stepped through the doorway.

Reita had brushed past him from the kitchen to place a small kiss on his cheek as he headed back into the living room while he continued to treaded down the hallway. Still preoccupied with the mail he was carrying as he sat on the edge of the bed while Reita came out of the shower to scrounge around for a clean towel.

“You know I think that fucker is purposely messing with our mail just to get back at me and if murder hadn‘t been illegal I would have killed him by now. He‘s been doing it since I told him to fuck off two weeks ago after he tried hitting on me---weren‘t you in the kitchen?”

“….uh…”

“Well since you‘re already here and conveniently naked I think we should take advantage of the opportunity and---”

“Ruki. What are you doing?” There was a light pressure on the back of his neck that caused him to roll his shoulders before he tried to get Reita to sit directly in his lap instead of being a fucking tease by pulling away.

“Going to fuck you.”

He paused for a minute to allow his brain to properly grasp around the idea that he was staring at not one but two identical human particle structures of the bassist. Ruki had concluded that if his hypothesis had been correct that he was indeed experiencing a sexual fantasy concerning one dripping wet Reita and a slightly irritated but curious Reita who would no doubt end up joining in his fantasy threesome. The second improbable conclusion suggest that he should probably never let Reita talk him into eating an entire pizza topped with a few questionable dressings that he insisted were still good beyond the expiration date.

There were a good few moments of silence before he found himself quietly getting up to exit their bedroom before coming back into the room to see if in fact he had been experiencing some morbid real life scenario brought on by expired pizza toppings. “Either one of you explain to me what the fuck is going on or make the best of the situation and reduce my thinking process by laying back with your legs spread.”

“So what‘s it like?”

Eyes squinted to the size of barely a centimeter as the tips of honey blonde hair ticked the side of his cheek and he swore more than anything that he wanted to punch Uruha in the face for being such an annoying bitch at fucking….three in the afternoon. He was a moody cunt running on nothing but two hours worth of sleep, a few gallons worth of coffee and happy pills that weren’t so much happy as they were drug inducing. He found himself about ready to bite everyone’s head off but instead of ending Uruha he simply replied like the kind person he was.

“What the fuck do you mean what it‘s like? I Swear you poke me one more time I will break your fingers and make certain Aoi has nothing left to fuck but a human torso.”

“Bitch much? I mean you must have done something amazing like given God a real good blow job in order to end up with two Reitas. Lucky bastard.”

“The sex was good the first few days, I mean amazing in the way that you get two for one, but after it realized it had free will and came with Reita‘s nasty habits it got old fast. They‘re fucking annoying and thanks to their bickering over Guitar Hero at three in the fucking morning I haven‘t gotten sleep. Did you know he bit that mail man that’s always trying to hit on me in the ass the other day? I almost had to put him down because of that!”

Uruha shook his head somberly while he was trying to keep a steady grip on his Styrofoam cup while refraining from losing the last bit of his sanity. The added weight along the couch directing his attention towards Aoi who seemed to have had that same annoying grin Uruha had earlier plagued alongside mild curiosity while the bickering of Reita and his twin hovered in the foreground.

“What are you guys talking about?”

“Your mom.”

Aoi stared at Ruki for a moment at the remark before finally getting around to asking what had apparently been circulating on everyone‘s mind the fast few days. “So the thing with having sex with Reita…doesn‘t that constitute as masterbation?”

“No, it’s the same thing as two twins making out.” Uruha chided in before getting interrupted by Ruki.

“Technically that constitutes as incest where you’re getting banged by your cousin named Jimmy Dean and living in a trailer park while making moon shine. There‘s a difference. Now if you don‘t mind I‘m going to go put my head between two slates of granite and hope my skull gets crushed because everything is annoying. Peace out bitches.”

The grating of metal fastening slipping out of place had gave way to Ruki’s exit as they all stared after the rattling door before resuming whatever remains of practice they had. He had smoked through enough packs of cigarettes to have him coughing soot and tearing the ozone a new one and had he cared about nature he would have given more concern. However the lack of sleep was pissing him off and he was planning on hibernating until the next album tour or photo shoot. He didn’t even bother undressing as he just sank further into the mattress of his bed and thinking of how much he wanted to just be swallowed up by the entire thing. Ruki was almost slipping along the cracks of consciousness to fall head first into a never ending coma until someone had decided to gently shake his shoulder, which probably wasn’t a good idea because he instantly struck his assailant in the throat.

It sounded like someone was hacking up a lung as he lazily stared at Reita before lethargically watching the other man’s shadow slowly rub at the bassist’s back before they were both staring at him. The entire scene eerily reminiscent of the movie children of the corn.

“What do you two want that is so important that you need to wake me up?”

“We noticed that you‘ve been a little moody lately…..and almost punched a kid in the face for no apparent reason.”

“Well he was eyeing my ice cream the wrong way.”

He snorted at the way one of them rolled their eyes before the more subdued of the two gently rubbed at his ankle as he stared at the two of them for a few moments before realizing that Reita was smiling a little more while his twin began letting his fingers crawl up along his thigh. “Anyway we thought it‘d be nice to ask for the week off and take care of you since we‘ve been a little out of hand.”

“So just lay back and relax while Reita and I loosen you up.”

Ruki did snort on that last comment as it became suspiciously drawled out before feeling the rough contrast of calloused fingers dip beneath the waist band of his pants while Reita dipped downwards to place a leisure kiss on his lips. They really did manage loosening him up in more ways than one and despite the mood swings throughout the previous week it really had been worth keeping the two of them. He just had to make sure to teach Reita not to go biting the mail man’s ass again.