Note: [] is used for text, I really hate having to use all of that stuff but I didn't know how else to emphsize a text conversation.






“Fuck me in the ass.”

He was currently scrubbing the hell out of a rather large coffee stain on the front of his pants in the bathroom area of the book store and he had mentally, as well as physically, wanted to kick himself in the ass for having had the nerve to step out of his apartment without having at least checked himself for some sort of fatal mishap. The entire day had to be set off with a disaster and it was almost making him rethink his entire plan concerning charming his way into Kiyoharu’s heart because at the moment he didn’t feel entirely confident. It wasn’t like he was lacking self confidence in the first place or hated himself but with how things were turning out he would either fumble or result in embarrassing himself beyond repair, the last thing he needed was for the man to think he was a freak.

After the entire coffee incident he had made certain to avoid Kiyoharu as much as possible and seclude himself in the children’s department to put away any misplaced books but about five minutes into trying to figure out where the hell he was going to put a picture book he felt his cell phone go off. A text message left over from Shinya asking whether he had made any move at all within the past hour but all he could do was say no. He was expecting the conversation to end but the brunette refused to let it go so he had simply seated himself in one of the chairs in the reading area and nearly knocked his knee against the low set table. It was probably the only time he looked tall when he had been sitting in the small children’s table area.

[ ): Why didn‘t you ask him for coffee or his number? ]

[ Because I looked like I pissed myself due to coffee. D:< ]

[ You could have told him that.]

He nearly snorted at the comment before glancing upwards to get a weird look from some customer who was going to wander towards the children’s department with their kid until rethinking and directing their route towards the travel section.

[ I don‘t think he would have believed me and besides I need a few pointers. Remember I haven‘t dated for over two years?]

[I think you need a dating therapist. :D ]

[Do I look like I have time for that, isn‘t there something faster?]

[ Cosmo magazines. Srsly.]

[Aren‘t those for like woman who just want tips on sex?] He wasn’t stupid because he had to listen to teenager girls giggle over articles that were titled with ‘10 best ways to pleasure your man’ and the last thing he was going to do was listen to some stupid magazine written by a forty year old editor who probably got the information from their twenty something assistant.

[I don‘t know…anyways I have to go and restock again so I‘ll meet you for lunch again. Bye.]

[Bye. I‘ll make sure to give you extra whip cream<3]

Kyo shut his cell phone before dragging himself out of the small chair and finding himself sifting through magazines; he knew he was being the biggest hypocrite alive but he couldn’t help his curiosity and near desperation from getting the better of him because he was now currently flipping through a Cosmo magazine for dating advice. It was probably about as good as going to Clinton for advice on being faithful to your wife but he needed any helpful resources he could get and it seemed to make sense so he understood to some extent why woman had read a lot of the crap in it. He had finished a few dating articles and relationship advice columns but after a few minutes curiosity had gotten the better part of his sanity and he went straight to sexual advice. Kyo had known what he was doing was right in the sexual department but it wouldn’t have hurt to learn a little something but when he was about a few good paragraphs into learning the top five pleasure spots on a man he had been tapped repeatedly on the shoulder. He shrugged his shoulder thinking it was just another annoying customer before the tapping had repeated itself and he angrily turned around to tell them to wait until he had realized he was currently face to face with the very man he had been avoiding.

“Are you reading Cosmopolitan?”

“Uhh…”

“And don‘t tell me you read it for the articles either because that‘s what everyone says but you know they have like at least forty pages worth of sex tips?”

He was stunned to near silence and wanted to tear his hair out before he had managed to come up with something that wasn’t a one word sentence but by the time he had come to explain himself it sounded lame. Kyo had found out he had only just come back to see if the cashier had kept his keys because he forgotten them and he had smiled before waving at Kyo, it was a start he guessed and he felt slightly better but now Kiyoharu had thought he was some weird pervert for reading up on sex tips. He never felt so relieved until his break time had come and he was once again sitting in front of Shinya with some latte piled high with whip cream and a more than cheery Shinya ready to hear his days’ venture.

“And that was when he saw me crouched over a Cosmo magazine reading over the sex tips like some perverted old geezer. I swear today can‘t get any worse unless they decide to kick me out of my apartment and make me live out of a cardboard box…Shinya why does dating hate me? Why can‘t I be naïve and work as a corporate whore like you?”

Shinya smacked him before scratching out a few words on a word puzzle he had been trying to figure out since his early morning shift, Kyo was a whiny drama queen but he wasn’t planning on telling him anytime soon unless he had wanted to be decapitated. “Not everyone can be me but really Kyo you need to have more self confidence, act subtle, yet aggressive and make sure to attract his attention otherwise he will never give you the time of day. I think you should start with losing the emo look and go for boot cut denim and some layered tank tops with opened checkered blouse, oh and those dusty cowboy boots would look cute cause it‘s all the rage now. ”

“Fuck that I like my band shirts and tight emo jeans.”

“Kyo you‘re trying to get a date not attend some screamo teen angst concert so when you want to attract a man and get my help make certain to call me….oh look there‘s something man-licious at one o‘ clock.”

Kyo wanted to tell Shinya off but decided to turn around and see who exactly had caught his attention and it had been none other than Kiyoharu, he would have shit bricks at that moment if he hadn’t been so frazzled about the near coincidences that were reoccurring all day. God was having a field day and he must have done something horrible in his past life to deserve such torture.

“Oh my God it‘s Kiyoharu!”

“Really then let me go get his number for you?”

Shinya was already slipping out of his grip and prancing over towards the cash register, all but shoving the girl away from the cash register so he could get Kiyoharu’s attention, before happily putting on his best employee smile. He needed to prove to Kyo that he could do it and get him one step further in the getting into Kiyoharu’s pants plan, solely dubbed by him, and he’d start off by acting coy.

“What can I get you?”

“A large Vanilla Bean and a bagel.”

“Okay your total is $7.56 and would you mind me asking for your phone number? You see my friend has been seeing you a lot at his job and he hasn‘t had the nerve to ask because he‘s lacking a lot of self confidence but I thought it‘d be nice. It‘d be nice considering he‘d love to see you since he‘ll have a stressful day with a book opening.” Shinya smiled sweetly while making the man’s order and trying his best to put on his power of persuasion at least 100% so that Kyo would get over his insecurity and lack of tact.

“Is said friend by any chance waving frantically at you and giving you the finger?”

“That he is.”

“Alright but tell him it took a lot of persuasion that way he won‘t think it was that easy.”

“Don‘t worry I‘ll keep that secret between us queens honey.” Shinya smiled widely once he had been given the slip of his card and watched Kiyoharu leave through the door before running back to Kyo who seemed like he was going to maul him. He didn’t get beaten up but once he had given Kyo the taller man’s card that had his work number and own personal line he was all but shocked that Kyo had suddenly changed moods. Shinya had told him the persuading tact he used and that he had suggest seeing him on opening day but it seemed that line had ruined everything.

“Shinya! I‘m happy you got it for me but fuck I have to open for that stupid Harry Potter book….oh my God he‘s going to reject me the moment he shows up because they forced me to dress up as Harry!” Shinya all but patted him sympathetically and tried to lighten the mood by suggesting that maybe Kiyoharu had secretly been turned on by nerds with glasses but he had been rewarded with nothing more than a bite on the arm.