I Want To Hold Your Hand
original fic
~3350 // PG-13

( Because The Beatles Say It Best )

running
2nd draft
~3,735 // PG

( It was the summer after fifth grade when Brendan first thought he could fly. )

petewentz @AlexAllTimeLow dont die jack would run this thing into the neon blink ground. you, me, jack, brendon, spencer: lets go do something.

It starts with a round of Mexican beers at a rooftop restaurant.

Christmas is soon, so there’s a line of lights loosely strung from left to right across the expanse of the concrete space. It’s a small taco joint with two-dollar beers, but it has the best view of downtown Los Angeles, especially during sunset.

Pete watches the sun sink neatly between two buildings, too perfect, and he has to scoot his chair an inch to the left to ruin the symmetry. And inch closer to Jack, who just smiles and dips his head momentarily on Pete's shoulder before lifting it up and taking another sip of his bottleneck. On his other side is Brendon, devouring a fish taco while laughing at whatever Spencer said, Pete doesn’t really hear. And then there’s Alex, leaning back in his chair across from Pete and out-drinking all of them. The setting sun casts an orange glow over the back of his head, and Pete watches him, watches the way his fire hair swirls atop his head.

“You good, Pete?” Alex asks lazily, lifting his beer for another sip. He smiles back at the younger singer.

“All good. Your hair looks on fire.”

“You should see my crotch.”

It’s things like that that made Pete instantly click with Alex and Jack while on tour; they reminded Pete of himself in his early twenties (except richer, taller, and with better hair). Almost in the same way he clicked with Brendon and Spencer, and now he almost wishes Ryan and Jon could be here too but the elephant took up too much room.

So Alex and Jack do just fine to fill the gap and round out the gang, and Pete’s just glad they could all find the time to meet up. It’s a warm December night in Los Angeles and the five of them order another round, because they’re in the middle of sharing stories and it’s much too early in the evening. (And, Jack adds, they’re not nearly drunk enough). Pete smiles softly and hopes there are more beers and fish tacos and rooftop sunsets to come, because he could get used to this.

I've got 1.5inch of black regrowth. And my hair is no longer that steely blue, but kind of this washed out gray brown granny colour. Lol OH GOD. I'm getting it cut off and coloured again on Sunday and I'm SO relieved.
And it's a colour that I've never gone before too. *sneaky smile* I'm both nervous and excited about what the results will be.

Ah, it will be a nice change for the Summer :)


-----

Christmas is drawing nearer, but I hardly feel it. One of my work colleagues has already ransacked most 2 dollar stores for lights, stockings, trinkets and practically anything that sparkles in green and red. I looked on in mild disinterest. Then it struck me...this girl is from AMERICA. *giggle*
And we talked briefly about our cultural differences. The way Australia kind of ghosts a lot of other traditions, and doesn't really have any of it's own. Let's not argue. Just let it go okay? lol

I don't want anything for christmas really. I've stopped hoping for stuff a long time ago. It's now just a matter of what to get everybody else, will it be good enough, will they like it, does it come this way...and if I have enough money left over to buy those pair of shoes, or that lens, and this concert ticket etc.
I feel funny and old.

I miss feeling surprised every year.
...I MISS JAK <3

---> actually there is something I want. I wanna go back to Japan and get my entire back tattooed. Yes. It will happen next year.

Is missing the love of her life

ว่าเข้านั่น จขบ.นั่งชิลเข้าหน่อย มีความสุขเข้าหน่อย ก็อดถามตัวเองเป็นระยะๆไม่ได้ - "Don't I need to be - just a little bit - miserable?" หวนคิดถึง episode "The Softer Side" ใน TV series 'House' นิดหน่อย...

เรื่องบางเรื่อง (เช่น การเขียน -w-" ) ถ้าจะทำให้ได้ดี จขบ.ก็ต้องมี'awareness of pain' รู้ความเจ็บปวดมีอยู่ รู้สึกว่าความเจ็บปวดมีอยู่...บ้าง... แค่นิดหน่อย เพราะถ้าหากว่าพอใจกับอะไรง่ายๆ ก็จะรู้สึกเหมือนไม่มีแรกผลักดัน - to make it better - และทำให้ดีที่สุดเท่าที่ตัวเองรู้สึกว่าทำได้

เพราะว่า... ฮืมม์ เวลามองกลับไปเวลาที่เราไม่มีความสุข เราก็จะมองอะไรแย่กว่าเดิม แล้วนั่นเองคือตอนที่จะรู้ตัวว่าผลงานมันออกมันแย่กว่าที่ควรจะเป็นแค่ไหน

แต่ก็นั่นแหละ ปรับตัวกับการมีความสุขจริงๆแล้วมันก็ดีเหมือนกัน :)

i have a story written.

(shocking, i know.)

i'm going to post it as soon as it's revised enough . . .
it's not really sad, though the topic is.

i'm happy to be writing again, albeit a bit rusty.


hello, lj.

Title: Eyes Wide Shut
Author: cadkitten
Pairing: Die x Kaoru
Band[s]: Dir en grey
Rating: PG
Summary: Kaoru's memories slip into something else... something more.
Disclaimer: I do not own or represent Dir en grey. I make no money from the writing of this. I do not claim any of this to be truthful.
Warnings: M/M, Angst, WAFF
Prompt[s]: Winter
Comments: for diexkaorulove advent calendar
Beta Readers: kawaiikyo, rapturouspurple, elyachan
Song[s]: "With Eyes Wide Shut" by Blessthefall

( Eyes Wide Shut )

SO MOVING ON...



I bring you ex-drummer No Minwoo (aka ROSE) of TRAXX remix cover of 2PM's "Heartbeat".
Okay, I nearly did something bad like: wet myself, when I crossed this because I liked TRAXX a lot at one point and everybody knows how I feel about 2PM nowadays :).
Also, Minwoo does a little tribute to Jaebum at the end "Come back Jaebum" to show his support to the recently missing leader of 2PM.

Actually, the recording isn't too hot, but I still get what it's supposed to sound like. :D



( readmore... )

I went to visit my baby sister yesterday on my way home from work. It's the first time I've seen here. Her name is Joline and she is 6 weeks old. I wanted to eat her up :)

During lunch, my cousin Terry, who is no more than 8 years old, asked me why don't you love me? I was shocked. I asked him what made him think that I didn't? He told me that this is what his mother said to him.
She was sitting across the room laughing like nothing was going on, and I just wanted to get up and fucking strangle her in front of everybody.

This woman wishes me well every time I see her. But she is also the reason I lost $10,000 of my college fund. Sometime during a mid-life crisis she got in some trouble, and landed herself (and thus the entire family) in about fifty something thousand dollars debt. And not knowing what to do, they gave her my money. Which apparently "pained" her greatly to take.

Fuck you bitch. Seriously.

I'm not mad that they tried to help her, I'm mad that she still had the balls to say shit about me to her children behind my back after what she took and never thanked me for.

This is why I cannot trust adults. To be polite, I always agree and nod my head when I'm being spoken to. But they can all go to HELL before they think I'd take their word for anything.

This poor 8 year old kid has had his childhood mangled and stolen because of the combined stupidity and poor decisions made by both of his parents - and this one extra lie on top of everything else is exactly the kind of mental stress the boy doesn't need. She's already fucked up her own life and now she's ruining it for her kids as well.

I'm 20 years old. They still treat me like I don't have an opinion, and if I do, it's not the right kind. I've become notorious for arguing back in this family - maybe one day I'll say something damaging.

Title: Pit Hair
Author: cadkitten
Pairing: Die x Kaoru
Band[s]: Dir en grey
Rating: 18+
Summary: Kaoru looks up from his book at the wrong time and finds a lot of things that interest him... one more than all the rest.
Disclaimer: I do not own or represent Dir en grey. I make no money from the writing of this. I do not claim any of this to be truthful.
Warnings: M/M, Hair Fetish, HJ, Frot, Voyeurism, Exhibitionism
Prompt[s]: Die's pit hair.
Comments: I couldn't stand it... I had to include Die's pit hair in a fic. *blush*
Beta Readers: kawaiikyo, rapturouspurple, elyachan
Song[s]: "Lighten Up Francis (JLE Dub Mix)" by Puscifer

( Pit Hair )

I finally got the Dir en grey NM Street Team website up and running.
http://vinushka.net/degnm/
Check it out. I'm in love with my own header image, lol. ♥

For those waiting for the 11th installment of Learning Love, I have bad news I'm afraid.

I was hoping to update this Friday but as it turns out I simply don't have the time / energy / focus for it. A project I've been working on for four months is coming to an end (finally, thank goodness) and it's pretty hectic at the moment. I'm starting to fail at being nice to people, turning into a snappy bitch instead. *chuckle* Do wish me luck, or send me some Lorazepam, either works. A week and I get to breath easy again, though.

But until next week, no LL. .______________________.

...after that a month of semi-free time for me. I'll catch up. ;)

So, 2:41am guys. My internet is slower than cityrail, and this is the only time of the day that it actually works. Naturally, I youtubed all night. Have some more K-POP. mainly directed at kisahga, vags0up, darktower6 and orange_rotted

( WHY ARE WE NOT SURPRISED BY THIS *LJCUT* TO HIDE MOAR SLASH )

I'm pretty tired now. And I've got a long, probably scorching hot day ahead of me tomorrow. So what else do I do with my life?

camera: Mamiya, RB67
model: James Domeyko.

I like my film a little yucky, I don't mind. But maybe not for school.

-------

It was hot again today. We were all sweating like pigs on the train this afternoon, which should have had air-con but for some reason didn't. I was starting to feel really dizzy from the heat, and the dozens of sweating commuters crushed up against me did not help the circumstances.

BTW, THANK YOU FOR YOUR VIRTUAL LOVE liralen & winterfeelings. I WAS DEFINITELY CHEERED UP WHEN I GOT HOME! SO MUCH LOVE IN THIS MUTHHAAA!

So, interest has been expressed in a Kyo-centric contest for the DA community Junangeki. As such, I've decided to set one up!

In order to garner more participation, I have created this community on LJ.
junangeki

Subject of the contest:
Artwork, writing, and/or graphics focusing on Kyo's live performances.

It can be of Kyo himself or simply an interpretation of what his performances give off, the emotions, feelings, gestures, expressions, etc. Be artistic. This contest is pretty open.

Deadline
January 31, 2009 - midnight MST

Rules

• No limit on the amount of entries you submit. However, each person can only win one prize.


• All entries must be Kyo-centric. Nothing says it cannot include the other members, but the main focus is Kyo.


• All ratings accepted.


• No minimum or maximum number of words for the stories.


• If you are planning on participating, please leave a comment to let me know.


• Post your submission to DA or junangeki and link me to it from either a comment or a PM.

Prizes

• JRock Magazine


• JRock Poster


• Kyo Magnet